Getting Help
If you are still in a relationship:
- Think of a safe place to go if an argument occurs – avoid rooms with no exits (bathroom) or rooms with weapons (kitchen).
- Think about and make a list of safe people to contact.
- Keep change with you at all times (for payphones, buses, etc.).
- Memorize all-important numbers.
- Establish a code word or sign so that family, friends, teachers, neighbors, or co-workers know when to call for help.
- Think about what you will say to your partner if he/she becomes violent.
- Remember you have the right to live without fear and violence.
- Don’t forget to turn off location on your phone, computer, and social media sites
If you have left the relationship:
- Change your phone number and/or block the abuser’s number.
- Screen calls.
- Save and document all contacts, messages, injuries or other incidents involving the batterer.
- Change locks if the abuser has a key.
- Avoid staying alone.
- Plan how to get away if confronted by an abusive partner.
- If you have to meet your partner, do it in a public place.
- Vary your routine so that it isn’t as predictable.
- Notify school and work contacts.
- Call a shelter for domestic violence/sexual assault survivors.
- Don’t forget to turn off location on your phone, computer, and social media sites
If you leave the relationship or are thinking of leaving, you should take important papers and documents with you to enable you to apply for benefits or take legal action. Important papers you should take include: social security cards and birth certificates for you and any children, your marriage and drivers licenses, leases or deeds in your name or both yours and your partner’s names, your checkbook, your bank/credit cards, bank statement and charge account statements, insurance policies, proof of income for you and your spouse (pay stubs or W-2’s), and any documentation of past incidents of abuse (photos, police records, medical records, etc.).
(Courtesy of National Coalition Against Domestic Violence, Safety Planning)